6 Dream Jobs That Would Actually Suck

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Everyone dreams of having a more exciting job, like the ones we see in movies and on television all the time. But those dreams tend to be quickly crushed by the realization that all the really badass jobs are the ones that require the kind of training that is next to impossible for most of us to accomplish without capturing a wish-granting leprechaun.

Well, as it turns out, some of the most awesomely portrayed jobs in movies require almost no training whatsoever and can be done by almost any old jackass who walks in off the street. Like …

6. Bounty Hunter

The Badass Job:

Bounty hunting is a centuries-old, time-honored tradition, where grizzled bastards harder than a coffin nail set out to capture other, possibly even more grizzled bastards, armed with only their wits, guts and whatever trusted weaponry they can carry. One larger-than-life character after another has roamed the modern bounty-hunting circuit, bringing bad guys to justice and looking like real-life versions of action movie heroes in the process.

In movies, bounty hunters have been played by everyone from Clint Eastwood (For a Few Dollars More) to Robert DeNiro (Midnight Run) to the Rock (The Rundown), and there’s a reason why Star Wars fans love Boba Fett despite the fact that he doesn’t do anything. It’s because the idea of cruising around, answering to no man as you doggedly pursue your prey is as badass as it gets. It’s a job that has all of the action and danger of being a cop, with none of the rules. You’re operating beyond the law to bring criminals to justice and collect your reward.

To do it in real life, there must be years of training to be undertaken, possibly even a previous career in law enforcement or some horrible personal tragedy that must be avenged. You don’t just wake up one day and decide you’re going to start driving around looking for dangerous fugitives who wouldn’t hesitate to throw a shotgun blast into your face like confetti at a disco.

Turns out the Taylor v. Taintor Supreme Court case from 1872 — a ruling that, stripped from its law-talk, basically says that it’s OK for people to be bounty hunters — is used in many states as the be-all and end-all of their bounty-hunting legislation, despite it technically having no binding precedential value whatsoever. While bounty-hunting requirements do vary from state to state, it tends to be more about what color form (if any) you have to fill before getting your badge than what your required training is — because there are no diplomas nor any training whatsoever that you legally need to practice the profession.
Sure, there are bounty hunting “schools” you can attend, but even they themselves admit that they’re pretty much bullshit. Just operate within the laws in your state, grab your favorite pair of leather pants and feather earrings, and find yourself a bail bondsman to work with and you could have your own reality show/Tony Scott movie in no time, provided the first criminal you put your hands on doesn’t immediately stab a straight razor into your eye socket.

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